Diary Excerpt # 43

Wandering around room to room,
avoiding notebooks because I'm scared of my own words.
Trying to fit into a world I don't belong to,
and failing miserably.
Drinking lots of tea,
dreaming about being published while I avoid scribbling.
Brother Bear always did call me a contradiction in terms.

(The novel and diary I'm avoiding.)

Want to write a letter and send it in a bottle,
but the ocean always escapes me.
Would you find it, if I set it adrift in the lake
that holds the reflection of the mountain I grew up under?
I may do it anyway,
even though I lose faith in you finding me daily.

Huckleberry is what I'll call him,
the puppy I've fallen in love with,
but can I be trusted with such care?
How I worry.

No matter how much the ground needs it,
I wish the sky would stop crying,
before I join her in her tears.


  1. You are such a phenomenal writer. You are the dream that will make it big, I can just feel it. You have something so special that is so rare, you certainly have a magical gift in writing. This post is amazing and as an aspiring writer myself since I was five, I know exactly how you feel. Dreaming about one day being published, but then being afraid to sit down and write. All day characters swim through my mind and their plots, and yet I am afraid at the task of putting it all together and maybe being published one day....I guess sometimes we are afraid to face our ultimate dream in fear of it not working. But you, my dear, must try. You have something worth fighting for!

    <3 Jules

  2. I agree with Julie. You are a phenomenal writer. And you mustn't give up. I know how easy it is to give up. I've done it plenty of times. But you have great potential. Never give up.


  3. I don't know who you're sending it to you, but dearest, I'll find the letter if you want me to. Hopefully the critique group will give you a little creative boost. I hopehopehope your skies will clear soon. x

  4. The first two lines - how well I can identify with that! This is lovely. xx

  5. I cannot believe I have not read anything from you before! Why oh why oh why? And I am honestly and endlessly honoured to be in the critique group with you. This post made my entire day, because I can so relate to it.
    Thank you. xx

  6. I can relate to the first bit of this quite easily. It's so easy to avoid words when you type on a computer with internet access...you have the right idea though, keeping your scribblings on paper! (And your teacup and teapot...sigh.) I cannot wait to see some of your work in the critique group.

  7. But your words are beautiful, darling. And while you continue wishing for the rain to stop, I'm right here admiring it's gentle drops.

    Thank you for letting me find you.

  8. Dearest, could you please check your email? I have replied to your concerns about the blog not being secure, and I'd like to know how you feel about it. x