Diary Excerpt #49

Have been thinking about tesseracts,
'wrinkles in time'
and speaking with dolphins, wondering,
if everything hears me like I hear everything.

Sometimes, Huck knows what I'm thinking before I do,
the first time he did, it startled me.
I dreamt of this relationship once,
never thought it would be with a blue-eyed dog.
Am teaching myself to let go,
because I found I was blocking him out in fear.

He loves me, I have nothing to fear.

Traveling to water tomorrow,
want to write another letter and send it in a bottle.
If I send two bottles in two different waters,
will you find both of them?
But what would I say,
that you haven't heard already?

Have decided that if I don't start having faith,
that everything will be alright,
no matter what it is,
I will go mad.

So I'm running away,
and hiding in books for two whole days.
I need to stop thinking so much.
It's hurting my head,
and my heart.

What if I'm not everything they said I would be?
I don't think I could handle the disappointment.