Diary Excerpt #52

"Had I not created my whole world, I would certainly have died in other people's."
~Anais Nin

This is how I feel.
I'm worried I'm going to drown.
I'm afraid of being forced to join in.
Because I know I will die.

I'm not like you.
Or her
Or him
Or them
Or that.

And I don't want to be, I won't pretend.
But is there a place in this world for people like me?
For dreamers and thinkers,
for lovers and make-believers?
For tea party-goers,
for happily-ever-afters,
for...me?

I can't find the niche'.
I feel like the star peg trying to go through the round hole.
And I don't know what to do.
There is advice coming from all sides,
and all of it sounds like it should be followed.
But I'm so afraid of taking a wrong step,
of heading down to the doldrums, from which I can't return,
that my feet are stuck to the floor.

What would you do?


5 comments:

  1. Oh, my darling diana!
    I'm so sorry I have been gone. A part of me has died when I found out that I might lose you forever.

    Here's my new home now.
    http://moon-lore.blogspot.com





    Of course you are not like another. You will never be because you are special. And the world may be over crowded but there will always be a place for you. For your beauty. For your heart.

    xx

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  2. The most important thing is to listen to your own heart, if you do that you will never make any wrong decisions. And even if something feels like a wrong solution, later on you will find that it was exactly what you needed at that time. (This is what I've noticed).

    This world is a hard place for us dreamers and thinkers, but I think we are the ones who fill in the cracks, the ones who make life a little more magical for ourselves and for others.

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  3. You're not alone.

    For dreamers and thinkers,
    for lovers and make-believers?
    For tea party-goers,
    for happily-ever-afters...

    Being in London with the recent riots, believe me, if I could have a city of dreamers, and lovers, and tea party-goers and storytellers I would. There is very much a place for you. Nothing good comes easy. You just have to swim for brighter days, and sometimes the tide is against you. You just have to swim that bit harder ;) x

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  4. That Anais Nin quote utterly sums up a post I wrote recently [http://sparklesandcrumbs.blogspot.com/2011/07/no-im-not-lucky-im-blessed-yes.html]. Have faith - I didn't believe it either, but there is a place and a people for the daydreamers and the Peter Pan-believers. Keep your heart true, my darling, and true love and high adventure will appear :) xxx

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  5. Yes, there is a place for us. But it is not in a niche; it is in the sky, on the road, in the meadow with flowers that reach up to your waist.

    [Thank you for the Anais Nin quote, too. It struck a chord with me.]

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