"Cause I remember you best...

...Hating all the boys who got to you
And all the things they took
That you'd kept for yourself
Every car crash, every misstep, every word."
-Matt Nathanson

Sometimes I want to leave my real diary, the one written on paper with pencil smudges and purple ink, out in the open, just to see who reads it. I call myself a writer, but all I do is write in a book that respect rules no one must read it. I see my classmates look at me when I pull it out - being large and multicolored with Effiel's Tower on the cover makes it easy to notice - to scribble in when our professor's lectures bore me and I know they wonder.

But I wouldn't want any of them to read it. They see the world through black and white spectacles, and I wrote my diary through a rainbow eyeglass a fairy gave me once. I would leave my diary out to find the other who has a rainbow eyeglass - Tinker Bell assured me there was another one out there, somewhere.

Most days, nobody understands.

Vanilla tea in a Peter Rabbit tea cup with a box of tissues and a dream to keep me going the next to weeks is all I have at the moment. Came home to an empty house again - but plan on spending the time redecorating my space so that when I move here I will have a place all my own.

Only two weeks left. Then, freedom.